1. Where Do You Start?

Where do you start? How can anyone hope to articulate (with any clarity) the flood of thoughts and emotions that make up a day? There is something inherently disturbing about putting your thoughts - the very essence of who you are - for an anonymous "someone" to read. There is something deeply unnerving in translating emotions to the page when the 'author' has no talent in doing so. Allow, even solicit, that same reader's response.... there are moments this self-pillory creates doubt about this embarkation.

In quieter moments, the fear of exposure is balanced by the reality of 'need' while praying for the anonymity offered by this vast electronic world. The very thought that instills vulnerability also provides relief – hoping that someone out there can, even if only for a moment……… understand.

I have no one I can talk with – the things I face have to be dealt in quiet desperation. Talking to even my closest and oldest friend would expose family secrets I've been begged to keep hidden. Discussing even the most minute detail would bring condemnation from my wife and pity from my friend. That said, I am ill equipped to handle the chasm in our marriage alone…

Heaven help me.